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.Thursday, January 26, 2012 ' 3:02 PM Y
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I have that same feeling again. Sometimes i wonder if i am really your friend or some toys you can use and throw it aside once you are bored of it. I have the same feeling for countless times alr. During camp, class cheer, kun ming. Maybe i am just too sensitive. I ask myself why i cannot be someone perfect, someone who can make you smile everyday, someone you can have fun with. When i see two best friend together, i keep asking myself why can't we be like them. Did you realize that we always quarrel?Sometime when we were walking, you will tend to walk faster and i would stand at the back thinking if i did something wrong or something and i have a feeling like you are treating me like a dog.(my feelings only) Just think that i look like a stupid fool following behind you.Sometime, when i am angry i did that too. I don't know how to tell you this, because i am really scared of you being angry. Now, i have that fear of making you angry by saying the wrong things.because i will think that you are only thinking of yourself, selfish, blah blah. Thats why i choose to keep quiet whenever we quarrel, be it you are in the wrong or i am wrong.I just don't want to hate you, i want to maintain this freindship. I am sorry if i cannot be the perfect friend, but we did have a lot of happy memories together right? :)
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.Tuesday, January 24, 2012 ' 5:34 PM Y
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Its Chinese New Year People! :D
Yeah received a lot of red packets :) Everyone look very nice during CNY! :D But i dun really look nice Hehe dun dare to wear a sleeveless dress, cause my arms to fat. haha Reunion Dinner was fun and the food was tasty! Watch Johnny English with cousin :) Nice show btw. Ohh ya, one of my cousin going Europe to study! Won't be back until 6 months later! :( Hope he can have a safe trip there! :) Talking about studies, i think i am going to be the first one in my family who could not get into JC. All of my cousin went to good schools and now some are in university. I sometimes wonder why i cannot be a clever as them. I want to get into good schools too and make my parents proud of me. Haiya dun talk about all this, spoil mood only haha.
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.Saturday, January 21, 2012 ' 9:47 PM Y
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I am like a person with no dreams and aspiration. I don't know why am i studying so hard for. I dun like the way i am living now. O level in just a few months. I flunk a lot of class test. I have sweaty palms.(I hate it, cause people seems to feel disgusted when then touch it) I found this on the net: (Because hands are exposed in social and professional settings, many patients with Hyperhidrosis are self-conscious and may avoid social contact. They may be reluctant to shake hands or handle paperwork. Patients have even been embarrassed to hold the hands of those they love.) This is quite true. I am afraid of people, as in i am afraid of them laughing at me for the way i look. Whenever people laugh, i will think that they are laughing at me. I have lack of confidence. During the class cheer, i wanted to lead the class like my friends who are leaders, but i am too scared, and i have the feeling that they will say that i am trying to act like a leader, in other words gain attention . Whenever i look at my friends i always wonder why i cannot be like them, pretty, friendly and many more. Sometimes i really feel very left out and extra when i am with my friends, esp during the camp and exchange programme. I really could not take it during the exchange programme, so thats why i cried, but i was lucky to have a teacher who understands me that time. She chat with me and told me a lot of stuff.Although she is not in the school anymore, I would really like to thank her for keeping this a secret and helping me. Another thing, i smell bad too. I really hate it when i smell bad, cause people would tend to stay very far from me and i dare not stand close to them too. Sign. I really want to be perfect, a person with no flaws.
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.Friday, December 2, 2011 ' 10:08 PM Y
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Hello!Well, tomorrow is my last GuZheng lesson. :( Feels kind of sad. It have been 7 years and I somehow miss the times I had during lesson, when my teacher tell me jokes and trying to make me laugh. Ms Lim (My teacher) have been teaching me since I was Primary 2. She has watched me grow up from a small girl till now. I still remember the 1st lesson i had with her. My parents were with me and we were choosing the GuZheng happily. I enjoyed the first lesson a lot and i find it very fun and interesting. I started learning from grade 3 and slowly move on to grade 5. I regretted not taking exam for grade 5:( But i did took exam for grade 7,8,9 and diploma. This is the final one and i cannot afford to fail or get low grades. I don't want to disappoint my teacher and parents. A few years ago, when I was grade 8 i think, I seldom practice and played very badly during lesson. That was the first time Ms Lim scolded me.She asked my whether I have the determination to continue learning or not and whether i want to continue next year. I almost cried that day, but i held back my tears. I learnt my lesson and went home to practice everyday. I got a merit for grade 8 :) But last year, I did not do very well for diploma. So this year I really cannot let Ms Lim down. Planning to buy something for her as a gift for teaching me for these past few years. The memories with her were awesome and I hope that I will keep in contact with her:)
依依不舍:(
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.Wednesday, November 30, 2011 ' 9:34 AM Y
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Wow! Yesterday was the Mnet Asian Music Awards! Saw alot of kpop stars! If this was held in singapore in 2010, i would surely go crazy and hyper! Everybody were tweeting about kpop stuff and all. Actually i didn't intend to watch the music awards, because of my friends who were all so high yesterday and everyone was talking about it, i decided to watch to kinda fit in. :X I started to tweet about snsd and i realize i cannot stop! hahas. Last year, I still remember that my friends and i were very HIGH about kpop!We would talk about it the whole day (even during lesson)! :P After that,we went to different class and i seldom listen to kpop nowadays. But i felt happy for snsd and other groups who won in the music award. Everyone was screaming and shouting like mad yesterday!
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.Tuesday, November 29, 2011 ' 1:17 PM Y
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Hello! It have been a Long Long time since i post! I am making this blog private cause i am not really confident of posting for a long time.Who knows, I might disappear suddenly.LOL. I just realized that i haven do self intro. As you all know, I am Tan Jie Ying , I am 14 going to 15 :). Well, i study in Admiralty Sec, went to 3E4. Actually i am not a quiet girl, but i am a little shy :X Normally people's first impression of me would be quiet.Hmm... i don't think so :) I like shopping, eating and meeting new friends! I dislike being alone at home at night.I find it very scary. I have a lot of friends who care about me! And a very cute and funny sister :) I do not smoke and drink, but i want to try drinking. Some people say that drinking will make you feel better. Aiming to go to a good poly! But i don't know what course to take! When i get into poly I hope i can meet a lot of new friends. Of course i won't forget my current friends! They have build up my confident and i am very Happy to meet them. Even though we disagree sometimes and we quarrel, we have a lot of great memories together :) IDK why people like to judge each other, why can't they just lead their life happily?Hmm.. That is one of the reason i don't like to go jogging alone, i would always find someone to accompany me.Although my friends tell me that i am not fat, i will still think that i am fat and people would laugh at me when i am jogging. Well, i guess i do not have confident of myself. I do not like the stares from people.Anyway, i want to slim down and wear pretty clothes! I like to take pictures too! :) I will post picture in my blog!Okay that's all for today! Shall practice Guzheng now! Ohh and i forgot to tell you guys that i am learning GuZheng right now and a few more days it would be my exams! Wish me Luck! :)
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.Saturday, June 5, 2010 ' 1:52 PM Y
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HELLO!
yesterday went to CCA hahahas..saw the costume...so pink!and got flower on it ...i would rather want the last time yellow colour de...haiz...just came back from guzheng lesson...okay...going to play badminton with huilin next friday..looking forward to it=)
byebye everybody..
